Security

se·cu·ri·ty

səˈkyo͝orədē/

noun

noun: security; plural noun: securities

1.

the state of being free from danger or threat.

It is your job to figure out why you don't feel secure - whether in a job or in a relationship or in whatever other situation. What is it that you are afraid of? Once you figure out what it is, figure out what YOU can do to make the fear go away. Again, every fearful situation is different, and the steps you take for feeling ok will be different. Some times the threat is real, but you will find out that most often, it is just our minds getting "creative". The process of answering the question - "What am I afraid of" leads to "why am I afraid of it". That leads to "what will happen if the fear is manifested"? More often than not - the answer is nothing! And the fear disappears just like that!

Today, I have learned that a sense of security, just like happiness, is an internal job.
If you don't feel secure, nothing anyone will say or do will make it go away. Only you can make yourself secure.

What I have learnt so far...

I came across The Life Lesson Series started by Abubakar Jamil and Faroosh Brock. Its an amazing collection of insight from people all over the world. And its open to anyone who wants to contribute!
I had been wanting to write up a post for the series for two days now, and kept thinking and thinking about what to write. I figured it will come to me when I do start writing...so here goes.

Smile
Smile at your loved ones, smile at strangers, smile at yourself when you see the mirror. A single smile can wipe off many worries, can bring a lot of hope, can brighten a dismal day.

Hope
Never give up hope! Hope is what keeps the world moving.

Respect time
Other people's as well as yours. Time is precious, something that will never come back. Spend it wisely.

Try not judge
You and I are no one to judge another's situation. We have no idea what they are going through. Even if we claim to understand, we cannot FEEL it.

Gratitude!

I have not been here in so long! I should come back more often and share my thoughts and feelings.
Aiming for once a week for now.

If anyone is reading this - any ideas on what I should write about? I'd love some feedback.

Wish!

I wish I wake up to a peaceful and happy world tomorrow!

Unleash those ideas

So...the multi-talented, "modest" (NOT), multi-tasker that I am, I picked up yet another "hobby"...making jewelry! And any new hobby warrants a brand new, dedicated blog. So that's been done too.

A distant (technically), close (practically) relative just found out I have blogs...because I promoted the jewelry one on FB. She said she loved to read blogs, and went through all of mine. And left an email how much she enjoyed reading about everything I was upto. And I replied, yeah, there's a lot of things I start, never continue with anything. To which she responded, well, you at least start, I don't even do that. She said she read all my posts, enjoyed them, but was too lazy to comment :)

Well, I ain't lazy now, am I? Had to come up an entire new post to respond to her!

Her comment got me to think, what is it that stops us from trying things out? I know this girl, lets call her Concha, (hehe :) is an amazing painter. There may be other things she loves to do as well. I have noticed folks that are artistically inclined find various outlets for their creativity. So I bet there are other things too.
So what is the roadblock?

I came up with a few things that would apply to me....

• Daydreams....some of these amazing ideas I have, that I never got around to implement, are simple flights of fancy. They may not be difficult at all, but are just passing thoughts. They come, make me smile, and go away. Off late, this has started to bother me. I seem to find jewelry design ideas in pretty much everything that I see. (My shoe laces got a good bit of attention today! No, don't worry, they are not coming off my shoes and going onto someone's neck! I will buy new ones :p). Especially at night, when I am tossing and turning, and thinking about what I should do the next day. Amazing ideas! Which are gone by the time I wake up. I don't have a solution to this problem :( You may suggest that I note down my ideas and refine them later. Can't do that. I would never sleep if I did that! The only half-baked solution I have come up with is to think of one or two projects at a time instead of letting my mind wander the universe. If the scope is limited, I can focus and remember better.
• Ease of implementation...this can definitely be detrimental, epsecially when you dont have all the material and equipment you need. But this can also be an opportunity to think outside the box. I have done that quite a few times with my jewelry..the standard component is not available, but I absolutely HAVE to finish something to find peace of mind. Rummage around, use something else, and voila, interesting new technique. I have turned into quite the hoarder too. I collect things that catch my eye even though I am not sure what I will do with it. I recently asked my husband to give me some of the used postage stamps he collects...want to turn into a pendant, I said. He gave me a funny look, no stamp :(
• Laziness...we are all guilty of it :) When we have our idea, we mostly think of the end product. Not the work that goes into it. You start to think of the mundane things, and you give up even before you start! I DETEST doing accounts for my jewelry business, actually so strongly, that I sometimes think why am I even doing this! Luckily for me, my husband set up an easy spreadsheet for me to use in the beginning and my nephew is helping me find more powerful software that will help me get this beast under control. If this is what is stopping you, find help! Someone else might actually like doing what you hate (no, cleaning up your mess does not count here!)
• Lack of time...I think this is mostly an excuse. Sometimes it is a genuine reason, but mostly it is an excuse. Whenever I feel I do not have time to do everything I want to, I think of a friend of mine...she works full time in same office as me, has two small kids, goes part time to grad school...and she managed to run a half marathon. Just thinking of her makes me get off my butt and get going!
• Company...is very important. If you have folks you can bounce your ideas off of, who would encourage you to get better with your efforts, the enthusiasm stays. Boredom is kept at bay if there are others involved. My friends and I started a "craft club" 2 yrs ago. At the first meeting itself, we were all wondering how long this club would last. We meet once a month, everyone brings their own project to work on, share ideas, learn new things and have a good time. We will have our 2nd "birthday party" next month! Whodathunk!!! Building a team is definitely going to make your interests stronger and deeper. So go out there and find your buddies!
• Sense of purpose...this is a big one for me. Most of my crerative pursuits died in their infancy because at some point I would think why am I even doing this. Am I achieving anything at all? Most of the times, the answer was "nope". Other than using the time to do something other than watching tv, or reading, nothing else is accomplished. On the contrary, hobbies can be expensive. You want to buy the best equipment, get the best training..all of this costs money. I am pretty frugal by nature. So I get all my training through library books, use material I can find around the house (no, no, don't worry, I am not going to use those shoe-laces) and so on. Even if the money factor is taken care of, I would not be happy after pursuing something for a few months. I needed a "purpose". And I got that for my jewelry hobby! Folks loved my designs, offered to buy them, and I donated the money. A lot of good achieved, I am happy I get something challenging to do, my friends are happy they have something unique and beautiful, and the charity gets much needed funds. I have my purpose!

I would strongly encourage everyone to atleast give their ideas a chance to see the light of day. You will feel good, may decide this is what you were meant to do with your life and continue, or decide that you don't really like it, and be glad that you tried and now you know for sure!
That is what happened with my "writing career". I love writing my blogs, so thought maybe I should try some freelance writing work. I tried to find something I would like. Believe me you, I could find nothing! This made me realize I am not really a writer, I just like to talk and say what's on my mind. So gave up on that idea, but am glad that I know that this is not for me. Write your blog, and be happy. No need to worry about making a living out of it.

So Concha, unleash your ideas and enrich the world with the vibrant colors of your art! And if this list does not cover your reason for not trying, then let me know, will throw another post at you! All the very best, dear!

Going to distribute warm clothing..

This is a post by a friend of mine living in Delhi. Excellent idea, needs very little organizing, and anyone that has a will can do it:

 Hi there, we are planning to distribute blankets to the needy on the streets of Delhi. the plan is to buy as many blankets as we can, get out in a car at night and distribute the blankets to people who are on the streets. We don't need actual numbers to get going... we just know that there are hundreds and thousands on the dying of the chill while most of us chill out on new year's eve...

Here is his original post ... Going to distribute warm clothing (blankets)

This world is awesome!

I stumbled across this blog that I have fallen in love with. It gives pointers on How to Find Your Happy Place. Galen Pearl has a lovely way with words, makes everything so easy to understand. I read her post Awe is Awesome first thing this morning. Loved it! It made me stop and look at the wonderful world we live in. Here are some awesome things I noticed today.

Pomegranates! We have a small pomegranate tree in our yard, and we harvested about 7-8 of them this year. I was trying to separate the juicy, red arils. It was a tough job. They were so juicy, that a little bit extra pressure and I would get splattered in red! So juicy that if one of them fell to the floor, the floor was splattered in red. That's when I had my awe-filled moment! This fruit is amazing! It is packed to the brim with such delicate things. And each one of them is safe inside the hard outer skin, separated into separate sections with soft white membranes. Perfect design! Awesome!

Fruits in general are awesome! I love most of them, and am overdosing on pears these days! Nature is amazing, so many different fruits, each one with a different structure, texture, color and text. Awesome!

The human touch is awesome! One loving hand on your head will make a nasty ache go away, even if temporarily. One loving hug will take away so many worries. So simple, so powerful! So awesome!

Be Happy in Making Others Happy?

What do you think?

I think not!

This is something my father used to say over and over to us when I was growing up. It got ingrained in me so much, that making someone happy was the ONLY way for me to be happy myself!

Now you can imagine how messed up that makes me! I am not sure of my own likes and dislikes. I go with the flow. I do things for others hoping it will make them happy.
- If it does, I am on a high....for some time. Until that person says thanks and moves on. Then my bubble bursts and I start looking for someone else to make happy.
- If what I did does not make the other person happy, it makes me very very miserable! Possibly making the other person miserable too!

And the vicious cycle continues!

I would revise my father's advise to say:
You are responsible for your own happiness. Only YOU can make yourself happy, only YOU have the power to make yourself sad.

Now if only I knew how to erase what's etched on my mind, and follow my new advise! Sigh!

Happiness...for everyone!

This is another one from the Secret Scrolls:

When you ask for happiness and a beautiful life, ask not just for you, but for everyone. 

When you ask for something better, ask not just for you, but for everyone. 

By all means ask for abundance and health for you, but also ask for it to be given to everyone.

...Can you imagine what would happen if over six billion people asked for these things for you?

 

I like it. 

It might not actually work, but I like it.

It may be something selfish (6 billion people returning the favor?), but I like it!

Have been thinking a lot about "happiness", hope to do a post soon about all my thoughts.

From the Secret Scrolls...

I have subscribed to getting occassional emails from the "Secret Scrolls". This is related to the book "The Secret".

Mostly, I agree with what they..mostly I don't think too much about it, and accept it, since, well, it makes me feel good at the moment.

The latest one this. And I don't agree with them this time.
"Our natural state of being is joy, and it takes so much energy to think negative thoughts, to speak negative words, and to feel miserable. The easy path is good thoughts, good words, and good deeds.

Take the easy path."

I don't know about this.
First, there is no easy path to anything. 

Next, to some, negativity comes more naturally. That's their "nature", that's who they have become traveling through life. Everyone has a story to tell about how they got there. Once there, its not easy anymore.

Hmm..I don't like this line of thought. Stopping right here.

Balance!

Its a balancing act...life is.

Like walking on a tight rope. It starts when you are born, and you try and balance everything carefully while walking.

Weight is added with every step you take, and more and more co-ordination and determination is needed to stay steady on the rope.

This weight, this baggage, it comes in various forms. Some of it is responsibilities that we need to shoulder as we become more independent, more mature. Some of these responsibilities are like the pole that the tight-rope walker has in his hands. It helps with the balancing act. Some of them, like caring for your self, your family and friends, helping the community are responsibilities that we need to take up. Otherwise we become that extra, unwanted weight in some one else's balancing act.

Others, like unnecessary worries, fears, grudges, ego, all these can, and should be dropped. Ironically, it is these back-breakers that we have more of than the good, grounding weights. We tend to convert our responsibilities into worries, challenges meant to stimulate our minds turn into stress, and somehow things unravel and begin to fall apart.

We need to learn to distinguish between the different situations of life. Necessary challenges should be accepted whole heartedly, discard what is hindering our progress, and keep walking.

We may be surrounded by people who love us, but that walk on the rope is a solitary one. We start off with a safety net provided by our parents, but eventually, it is just one single person on his own. We may have spouses, kids, friends, but maintaining these relations is also a balancing act.

I hope to make good judgments and walk to the finish well balanced if not perfect.

Wish me well, friends!

Smile

I was humming one of my favorite songs yesterday, when I actually paid very close attention to some of its lyrics. I hate it ever since! The song is

तुझ से नाराज़ नही ज़िन्दगी...

I know a lot of us love this song to bits. The reason I hate it now is this line...

मुस्कुराऊँ कभी, तो लगता है...
जैसे होठों पे, क़र्ज़ रखा है...


Rough translation:
Sometimes when I smile
It feels like a debt on my lips

This is simply impossible!

A smile can never be a debt! It is one of the purest forms of expressing joy, of bringing joy, and transforming hearts and minds!

Just smile, and you instantly feel better!
Smile at stranger and you have a new friend!
See a baby smiling and you forget all your own worries

There is nothing new in this post :)

Just wanted to share a smile!

And lots of wonderful quotes about smiles here!
Do click on the link, its wonderful!

Go on...make the first move...

A favorite song of mine is this one from the movie "Thodi See Bewafaai"

हज़ार राहें मुड़ के देखीं , कहीं से कोई सदा न आई

(Rough translation: I turned around a thousand times, but no one beckoning to me...)

It is a very poignant, very soulful song. It is picturised on a married couple, they are very much in love even after years of separation. The song depicts how they are yearning for each other, but are waiting for the other person to take the first step.

He says...

तुम्हें ये जिद्द थी के हम बुलाते,
हमें ये उम्मीद वो पुकारे...

(You wanted me to call you, and I was hoping that you would)

And she says...

है नाम होठों पे अब भी
लेकिन आवाज़ में पड़ गई दरारें...

(I still have your name on my lips, but my voice is hesitant)

The song starts off when they are still young, and ends when they are quite old. What a waste of time and emotion! All that was needed was a phone call, a few heartfelt apologies, and a new (and hopefully better) beginning!

I am sure we all will relate to this situation, where we are desperately missing someone, but are too reluctant to take the first step. It may not just be someone we are romantically involved with, it could be a friend, a parent, a sibling, just about anyone.

We are afraid of how they will react, whether they will accept us back or not. What if they lash out in anger and ask us to go away? What if they insult us? What if they don't feel the same way as we do? What if they simply ignore our existence and walk away yet again?

I would say, more often than not, the other person is also waiting for you. And will offer their own reconciliation once you make that first step. And even if they don't, well, you still have nothing to lose! At least you will know that you tried your best.

So lets begin this new year by letting go of our egos, and making that phone call to the loved ones that we are missing so much. It seems scary, but might turn out to be quite easy after all!

Opinions...

Opinions are ... like you know... you have heard it before... like ... a**h****.
Everyone has one. But seriously, whose do you use? Yours or someone else's? (sorry! couldn't resist it, hehe :)

So look unto yourself for "what to do"!

There will be nay-sayers and there will be yes-men. So who do you believe?

One person looks at you and all you do and says, "you are multi-talented! You are so good at so many things!"
And the very next instant someone looks at you and all you do and says, "You are good for nothing. You cannot do anything right".

Hmm...so who do you believe? Yourself, of course! Who else will know how you feel?
Who else will know whether you have given your 100% to something that you get criticized for, or 10% to something you get praised for!

You and you alone can be the judge! And what is more, you are accountable to yourself first and then anyone else. You have to set your own bar and work towards it. You decide what satisfies you and what does not. After all you are responsible for your own happiness, not someone else! Right?

So...you know....opinions also...use your own!

Be harmless!

I was reading "The Little Book of Letting Go" by Hugh Prather this morning. I had started reading it a while ago, then put it away, and something made me pick it up again this morning.

The book has these "exercises" that Hugh recommends to do for a couple days and then notice the difference in how your day goes.

The exercise I read today made me have a very cheerful day! It said something like this...

"Just for today, I will live a harmless life. I will not hurt anyone, either by thought or by action, including myself"

It was quite profound! There are a lot of lessons in that one line. The most important ones being "not hurting anyone by thought" and "including myself".

Not hurting anyone by action is easy, but controlling thoughts, thinking ONLY good about everyone and everything...this takes practice! And I did it today simply by repeating the above line in my head! It works! I laughed more than I have in a long time. I made others laugh more than I have in a long time! I was happier and more cheerful! I felt that I liked everyone more than I have before, that I cherished them more, enjoyed their company more. All it took was a conscious decision!

And not hurting yourself is also quite a strong message. We all tend to be quite hard on ourselves, criticizing ourselves more than we should. So give yourself and everyone else a break, and be harmless!

Thanks!

To Kanan for this award...

She gave it to this blog... for the positive energy that is being spread all around from each little post.

Thanks Kanan! I am glad you and other visitors like it :)

I need to pass this on to 6 other blogs. Need to think about this a bit.
Will put an update here soon...

What we can learn from nature...

We are landscaping our yard, and I have been spending quite a lot of time in there lately. Got to see a lot of things which I would usually simply ignore. Here's a small "picture story" about what I have learnt!

Look towards the sun...

These flowers always try to find sunlight, and that's what they look at. They have a "one-track mind", so to speak. No matter what happens, look at the "bright, sunshiny side of life"

Hope...

If this little sprig of green can survive with such little to go for it, so can you! All is not lost yet, there always is hope, if there is a will!

Persist! Don't give up even if there are people against you.

This used to be a big shrub. About as tall as me. We had to cut it down to clear out space for some new stuff. Its just about one foot tall now. In just a few days after it was hacked, this survivor sprouted new leaves! Ain't backing down that easily, this one! No matter how many enemies you have, you can always find sustenance if only you look for it.

PS: Do forgive the not-so-inspiring picture. The message is very strong!

Forgive!

I don't have a picture for this lesson, but I do have a story. We have some beautiful, very cheerful gerbera daisies in some pots. They have at least one flower at any time. We water them every other day. Last week, I forgot to water them on their scheduled feeding day. They flowers were droopy and looked quite dead. I watered the plants, and within an hour, the flowers were up and dancing in the breeze again! I had been forgiven my neglect! It held no grudge against me. It didn't get all sarcastic and say why are you here now, leave me alone.


So many simple lessons, ain't it!

Accept it!

Today's mantra...

Accept it!

This applies to SO many different situations in life.

Most of us feel...at some point or the other...if only were different, I could do this, I could do that. There is no end to the "if only"s once we get started down this route.
Well, accept it!
Accept the fact that things are the way they are, not the way you wish they would be!
Accept the present...
Accept WHERE you are, only then you can decide where you can go!
Accept WHAT you have, only then you can decide what you can do with that!
Accept WHO you are, only then you can be who you want to be!
And also accept the past, only then will you be able to move forward! There comes a point where you need to stop questioning...why did this happen to me? It happened, nothing will change it, so accept it, and look ahead.

Heard of the line "if life hands you a lemon, make lemonade"?
I think life hands us more than just lemons, it gives us a lot more that we tend to ignore when we focus on that lemon!
SO...stop living in some pipe dream, wake up and look at what you have, accept it and make it work!

********

At some point or the other we feel all alone, feel that no one is there to support us, where is the point in doing all of this anyway.

This is also something we need to accept.

That you ARE indeed all alone.
You are the only ones that can feel the way you feel.
You are the only one truly responsible for your happiness.
You are only one you can truly depend upon at ALL times!

Once you come to terms with this truth, nothing is impossible (well..almost) to achieve.

Eliminate the "N" words!

Today's mantra...

Eliminate the "N" words...

• No
• Never
• I do not
• I can not
• I will not
• Not, nyet, nah, nope!
• Netc, netc.. (just trying to be goofy :) I mean, etc, etc!)

Why you say? Because eliminating the negative makes us more positive.
When we think about all the "no's" and "dont's", we are thinking negative, instantly.

Just converting our thoughts and conversations to contain less of the N words, we bring in more of the P.

Lets try to convert some and see...

But I don't want to go out
I want to stay in and read my book

I never get to pursue my own hobbies!
I would like to spend more time with my hobbies than I am right now

I don't have time for that right now!
Let me check my schedule and see if I can fit that in


And so on...
With each of these examples, we are more or less saying the same thing, but it does not sound so bad. The red sentences sound like we are complaining, the green ones sound like we have a solution to whatever is being discussed. It sounds like we have a plan, a "good" plan.

If the red sentences are directly meant for someone, they will mostly, immediately get defensive. Instead of seeing what you want, they will think about what you do not want. So the focus of the entire conversation heads into the wrong direction.

So...be assertive, talk about what you DO want, about what you CAN do, about what you WILL do.

I would love it if you can give me some sentences with "N" words in it. I want to see how many of them I can turn into something positive :)

Be unto others what you want others to be unto you!

I got called "a bundle of negative energy" yesterday.

Right when I was thinking the same thing about the person who said it to me!

I am not always the one rubbing off negativity, but at that moment it was me. There was this happy, smiling person, laughing and talking. Then I make one "cribby" remark and the other person's mood got soured too. It was not even anything about them, just a general comment, but that upbeat spirit felt sad listening to me.

They say when we interact with people, we see our own reflection in their attitude towards us. This is mostly true.

If you smile at someone, you're most likely to get a smile back (unless you have pissed them off big time!)

If you're nice, most likely even a rude person will get shamed into being nice to you.
If you're rude, most likely you will wipe away the smile on the other person's face.

If you're upbeat, you can lift the spirits of the most wretched and miserable person.
If you're negative, you will most likely dampen the spirits of an otherwise confident person.

So, be happy, stay positive, most likely it will rub off on others too :)