What we can learn from nature...

We are landscaping our yard, and I have been spending quite a lot of time in there lately. Got to see a lot of things which I would usually simply ignore. Here's a small "picture story" about what I have learnt!

Look towards the sun...

These flowers always try to find sunlight, and that's what they look at. They have a "one-track mind", so to speak. No matter what happens, look at the "bright, sunshiny side of life"

Hope...

If this little sprig of green can survive with such little to go for it, so can you! All is not lost yet, there always is hope, if there is a will!

Persist! Don't give up even if there are people against you.

This used to be a big shrub. About as tall as me. We had to cut it down to clear out space for some new stuff. Its just about one foot tall now. In just a few days after it was hacked, this survivor sprouted new leaves! Ain't backing down that easily, this one! No matter how many enemies you have, you can always find sustenance if only you look for it.

PS: Do forgive the not-so-inspiring picture. The message is very strong!

Forgive!

I don't have a picture for this lesson, but I do have a story. We have some beautiful, very cheerful gerbera daisies in some pots. They have at least one flower at any time. We water them every other day. Last week, I forgot to water them on their scheduled feeding day. They flowers were droopy and looked quite dead. I watered the plants, and within an hour, the flowers were up and dancing in the breeze again! I had been forgiven my neglect! It held no grudge against me. It didn't get all sarcastic and say why are you here now, leave me alone.


So many simple lessons, ain't it!

Accept it!

Today's mantra...

Accept it!

This applies to SO many different situations in life.

Most of us feel...at some point or the other...if only were different, I could do this, I could do that. There is no end to the "if only"s once we get started down this route.
Well, accept it!
Accept the fact that things are the way they are, not the way you wish they would be!
Accept the present...
Accept WHERE you are, only then you can decide where you can go!
Accept WHAT you have, only then you can decide what you can do with that!
Accept WHO you are, only then you can be who you want to be!
And also accept the past, only then will you be able to move forward! There comes a point where you need to stop questioning...why did this happen to me? It happened, nothing will change it, so accept it, and look ahead.

Heard of the line "if life hands you a lemon, make lemonade"?
I think life hands us more than just lemons, it gives us a lot more that we tend to ignore when we focus on that lemon!
SO...stop living in some pipe dream, wake up and look at what you have, accept it and make it work!

********

At some point or the other we feel all alone, feel that no one is there to support us, where is the point in doing all of this anyway.

This is also something we need to accept.

That you ARE indeed all alone.
You are the only ones that can feel the way you feel.
You are the only one truly responsible for your happiness.
You are only one you can truly depend upon at ALL times!

Once you come to terms with this truth, nothing is impossible (well..almost) to achieve.

Eliminate the "N" words!

Today's mantra...

Eliminate the "N" words...

• No
• Never
• I do not
• I can not
• I will not
• Not, nyet, nah, nope!
• Netc, netc.. (just trying to be goofy :) I mean, etc, etc!)

Why you say? Because eliminating the negative makes us more positive.
When we think about all the "no's" and "dont's", we are thinking negative, instantly.

Just converting our thoughts and conversations to contain less of the N words, we bring in more of the P.

Lets try to convert some and see...

But I don't want to go out
I want to stay in and read my book

I never get to pursue my own hobbies!
I would like to spend more time with my hobbies than I am right now

I don't have time for that right now!
Let me check my schedule and see if I can fit that in


And so on...
With each of these examples, we are more or less saying the same thing, but it does not sound so bad. The red sentences sound like we are complaining, the green ones sound like we have a solution to whatever is being discussed. It sounds like we have a plan, a "good" plan.

If the red sentences are directly meant for someone, they will mostly, immediately get defensive. Instead of seeing what you want, they will think about what you do not want. So the focus of the entire conversation heads into the wrong direction.

So...be assertive, talk about what you DO want, about what you CAN do, about what you WILL do.

I would love it if you can give me some sentences with "N" words in it. I want to see how many of them I can turn into something positive :)

Be unto others what you want others to be unto you!

I got called "a bundle of negative energy" yesterday.

Right when I was thinking the same thing about the person who said it to me!

I am not always the one rubbing off negativity, but at that moment it was me. There was this happy, smiling person, laughing and talking. Then I make one "cribby" remark and the other person's mood got soured too. It was not even anything about them, just a general comment, but that upbeat spirit felt sad listening to me.

They say when we interact with people, we see our own reflection in their attitude towards us. This is mostly true.

If you smile at someone, you're most likely to get a smile back (unless you have pissed them off big time!)

If you're nice, most likely even a rude person will get shamed into being nice to you.
If you're rude, most likely you will wipe away the smile on the other person's face.

If you're upbeat, you can lift the spirits of the most wretched and miserable person.
If you're negative, you will most likely dampen the spirits of an otherwise confident person.

So, be happy, stay positive, most likely it will rub off on others too :)

Just Do It!

Mantra for today:

Just Do It!

A lot of us are procrastinators! We'll do things we like, and keep putting off the other boring ones. For some of these tasks, tomorrow never comes. More often than not, these are simple, 5-10 minute tasks. They are insignificant enough to ignore for now, but important enough to not completely push them off our to-do lists. The longer we postpone them, the bigger they seem to get.

One very common example is mail! I get so many things in the mail that simply need to be filed away. That's all I have to do with them. Open them, read them, put them away. And since it is such a small, boring task, I have a big pile of mail! The bigger the pile gets, the more impossible the task of sorting it out seems! A task which was once going to take only 2 minutes will now probably take 2 hours!

And since I know in the back of my mind that I have this pile to sort out, I feel guilty about doing other leisurely things like reading a book for some time. The guilt is very valid, there IS work to get done! And so the cycle continues. I cannot enjoy my leisure because there's this nagging thought about the mail in my head. And I won't do it because its boring, and by now its taken on a life of its own, and become a big task!

There are quite a few such examples we all encounter everyday. The easy way out would be to just do it! Right there, right then! Get it over with. Make it a thing of the past!

Make it a habit to take care of these mundane things right away and see how much easier you breathe! How much spare time you have! Remember that old saying,

"A stitch in time, saves nine"?

How true it is!

And now for today's blessings...

Today I am grateful...

• For the opportunities presented to me everyday...for correcting my mistakes, and for doing things I want to
• For the fact that I am not poor! I saw this kids' picture on a photoblog. Was a small boy who had rough hands because he had to work hard to get his next meal!
• For the fact that there are organizations out there that help me help kids like him! (It still breaks my heart that these kids have such a life...through no mistake of theirs!)
• For my sister :-) She left yesterday while I was still at work. House was a mess since there were 6 of us, including 2 kids, living in a small space, and I was not looking forward to the mess. She left it spick and span :) God bless her for doing this for me!
• That this blog of mine is actually helping folks feel happy :) That means a great deal to me!
  

Don't worry!

Mantra for today, a very cliched one:

Don't worry!

Its the biggest enemy of our happiness! You are probably saying, but there are so many problems, how can I not worry? And my answer is, yes, there are, and there will be problems. Those problems need solutions, not worry! Right?

There really is no benefit to worrying. My parents always tell me, we are so worried about you, you are so far away. I ask them why? And they say, it just happens, we can't not worry. Don't you worry about us? And honestly, no, I don't. I don't see the point of it. If something is bothering me, I will tell them, suggest a solution. Thats about all I can do, right? My worry, or their worry, or anyone else's worry is not going to help anything!

I have inherited my mother's worry genes. Her name is "Mani" and she is nicknamed "chintamani". Chinta literally means "worry". And she does it 24/7! So do I!

And I am slowly realizing how it is eating away at my happiness and the happiness of those around me. I constantly stress about this is not working, that is not working, how will we ever do this or that! What will that person think of me, will someone get angry if I do this, or if I don't do that, stress stress stress. And the chain of thoughts just does not end! I spend so much time thinking of all things that could possibly go wrong, that I forget to enjoy my life at the moment.

So now...I take a deep breath, shake off all that negativity, and I KNOW that I can handle whatever life throws at me only if I don't get scared of it!

And here are the blessings....

Today I am grateful...

• To have realized a few things that can put a smile on my face, no matter what!
• To have such great friends...in blogville and otherwise
• For my ability to write!
  
• For the chocolate souffle that I just ate
  
• For the simple, helpful and non-judgmental people that work with me!
• For the husband that I have! I feel so happy to have him in my life!
• For my home, and all the critters I get to see in my backyard. The squirrels, the birds, the cats, love them all! (as long as they stay in the yard and out of my house, of course!)
• For my friend who recently got engaged (you know who you are, and I am waiting for pictures!). This one makes me very very happy!

Think before you speak

This one, I think is one I need to follow everyday! Not just for one single day.

Think before you speak!

I have a tendency to worry about things (to the point of insanity) and when things don't go the way I want them to, I find some scapegoat or the other (usually the husband, who, I claim, is not 100% innocent, but is still a scapegoat!) to vent out. And once I start, I completely lose all sense of what I am saying. Once I cool down, the 20-20 hindsight shows me what an ass I have been. But hindsight is no good, is it? There are, unfortunately, no reverse gears in life where you could use the hindsight and back up. The damage is done, the other person is really, really hurt. And more often than not, the point I am trying to make is completely lost in the verbal torrent! Not something I am proud of, but I figure if I speak about it out here in public, and hopefully get some flogging for it, I will watch my words :(

So, my mantra, think before you speak. If it is something you don't want to hear, then it is something the other person also does not want to hear. If it hurts you, it hurts them too! And if its hard to find something nice to say, then say nothing at all! Silence is definitely better than accusations.

And now for the blessings...

Today I am grateful...

• For the hindsight actually. So that I can develop a good foresight :)
• For a whole new week ahead of me to do everything I was not able to do last week
• For the 5 new lilies in my yard :) They are SO beautiful!
• For finally feeling good about my cooking :) Its a big milestone!
• For the sweet words my friend said to me today (I had cooked some special pasta for her kid, and they all loved it :)